New York City family law attorney Richard Shum (https://www.romanshum.com/blog/how-to-recognize-if-your-spouse-is-manipulating-or-gaslighting-you/) releases a new article explaining gaslighting and manipulating in a relationship. The lawyer mentions that when people get into relationships, they expect mutual trust and respect from their partner. However, some relationships can become toxic and the less overt forms of “toxicity” such as gaslighting can be more insidious than others.
“Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse. It involves undermining another person’s reality. Gaslighting is about maintaining power and control over your partner. Most gaslighters, the term for abusers who use gaslighting, use it as a tool to avoid accountability for their actions, often turning the tables on their partners for perceived issues in the relationship,” the New York City family law attorney says.
The lawyer explains that in order to recognize gaslighting, it is important to understand what gaslighting is not. Gaslighting is different from having a disagreement. Gaslighting is a method to stop the immediate conflict but only at the expense of making the victim insecure and tearing down their self-confidence.
Attorney Richard Shum says that it can be difficult to recognize gaslighting behavior if the person has been accustomed to experiencing it. One sign that a person is gaslighting their partner is when they lie and deny something that happened even when there is evidence of their wrongdoing. A person who is gaslighting their partner may also deflect or project their guilt onto their partner.
In the article, attorney Richard Shum adds, “Gaslighting is an abuser’s way to exercise control over their victim. Often, this can involve the use of manipulative language. Your spouse may say things like “if you really cared about me” or “if you really loved me” in an attempt to get you to do something, even if you would have done it anyway. This is a form of emotional coercion.”
Lastly, the divorce lawyer emphasizes that having a divorce lawyer can help the couple ensure they have all the legal support they need when it comes to divorce matters. A skilled attorney can help the couple draft their agreements and make sure that the agreement is legally enforceable.
About the Law Office of Richard Roman Shum
Divorce attorney Richard Roman Shum has been helping families deal with custodial, marital, and financial battles. Attorney Shum understands the life-changing struggle a family may face when they are going through a legal battle. He will provide clear strategies on behalf of his clients so that they can focus on more important matters. Contact the Law Office of Richard Roman Shum to schedule a consultation.
A lifelong New Yorker and resident of the Lower East Side, Richard Shum has dedicated his life to justice and helping New Yorkers fight and win in the courtroom.
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